i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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