I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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