I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
