In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize