I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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