Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester

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(248): View more from Michigan

5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.

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(757): View more from Virginia

just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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(360): View more from Washington

you inspire me to be a worse person

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL

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