Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she woke up with a sticky ear
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
