if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
