he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
