shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
