After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize