dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
