help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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