Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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