Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize