So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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