Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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