is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
