its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
