Plan B is the new Plan A
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize