It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
