Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
