when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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