she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
