Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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