God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize