He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
