I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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