OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
