I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
