Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
