kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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