Dignity is for republicans.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
