I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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