I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Randomize
