I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize