Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
