4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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