I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We need to get me chipped asap
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
