Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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