oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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