dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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