We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the day after is always just damage control
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
