when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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