Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize