We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
