Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize