I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
