I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize