I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
