I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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