Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
