everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
