Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
