if i can run in heels then i can drive
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
