it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
