I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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