Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
