Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
