But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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