Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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