Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize