I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
