i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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