considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Congratulations! We have a period
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