how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
