when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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