oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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