oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
