Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
